REVOLUTION IN A BOX
With all due respect to Mr. Gil Scott Heron
This year the revolution will be televised
and available to everyone rich or poor
black or white, Jew or gentile, straight or gay.
This year the revolution is at your fingertips
user-friendly, ready to assemble!
Rally and ready your personal cause or struggle
at a moment’s notice and brought to complete
revolutionary pleasure thanks to this extraordinary offer.
Introducing!
Revolution in a Box
This year’s revolution will not be led
by images of Che’ Guevara or
some other third world hero.
This year the revolution has been revolutionized
by Ron Popeil of Popeil Pocket Fisherman fame
whose products are simply revolutionary.
—Ron Popeil brings you
Revolution in a Box
No more missed opportunities to change the world
your country or even your family.
There will be no more lost causes thanks to
Revolution in a Box.
But Wait!
Do you suffer from insurrection interruptus?
Tolerate this condition no more!
Now thanks to the simple instructions and
components contained in Revolution in a Box
NO CAUSE TOO SMALL
NO CAUSE TOO LARGE…
No uprising will ever be left undone again.
Revolution in a Box
is scalable to fit any mutinous requirement
from five to fifty or more.
It comes fully equipped with all necessary
sophisticated weaponry, gear and uniforms designed
to meet today’s more discerning revolutionaries.
Do not let your cause suffer from fashion fatigue
before it starts! A properly outfitted revolution
is a successful one!
Revolution in a Box
is available to housewives, students
children, recalcitrant adults,
impotent men and post office workers
any member of society that throws tantrums
when they do not get their way.
Now thanks to Revolution in a Box
they will have the means to be revolting for real
in 3 equal payments. all credit cards accepted.
NO CAUSE TOO LARGE OR TOO SMALL!
This revolution will know no bounds, no limitations
Revolution in a Box comes packed in a camouflaged box
so none of your neighbors will know the trouble you are brewing.
But Wait!
Have you ever given a revolution and no one came?
Never suffer this indignity again —
Now thanks to Revolution in a Box
you will get complete compliance with your wishes
— because Revolution in a Box
comes complete with INVITATIONS
for all your fellow revolutionaries.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED…
see fine print for details and pricing
If you order Revolution in a Box
within the next 20 minutes
Ronco Industries Military Division
will throw in a a complimentary set
of Ginzu Machetes plus two extra
revolutionary place settings.
Remember!
Revolution in a Box
No Cause too large
No Cause too small!
Larry Jaffe
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